First, a disclaimer is in order: I am fully aware of the fact that my current efforts towards having the most ideal fertility situation possible are growing increasingly crazy and obsessive. But I mean, come on, what else can I do? When I think back to the last pregnancy, I know I probably didn't DO anything that caused the miscarriage, but there is also lots I didn't do to prevent it either. First of all, I didn't expect to even GET pregnant to begin with, since the entire year leading up to that was full of unsuccessful efforts. I wasn't preparing my body to house a baby the way I could have been, and now I'm doing my best to ensure that this is exactly what I AM doing. I think of it as preparing the best, most comfortable and healthy home possible for our future little one. Is it a little over the top? Yep, you could definitely say that. But it makes me feel so much more hopeful and positive about the future, because I feel I am doing something right NOW for what I hope beyond hope will happen in the near future. And I have to admit, it feels GOOD to be taking such good care of myself. It feels really nice. I may never go back. :) Here are some of the odd things I am filling my days with right now in an effort to be "as fertile as possible" (all I can do is laugh at myself, really):
1) Fertility Yoga- This involves a different series of poses to perform during each stage of your cycle. It's from a DVD I ordered off of Amazon and I actually really like it. It is incredibly relaxing and soothing, which is just what my weary soul needs.
2) Chinese herbs- I am taking a combination of herbs I received from my acupuncturist. Apparently what herbs I am taking will also change depending on what stage of my cycle I am in.
3) Acupuncture- I had my first session earlier this week, as I mentioned before. Like I said, she is going to focus on helping me regulate my cycles (which have been anywhere from 28-64 days apart since I first started my period way back in the day). I now know, after reading the book and speaking with the acupuncturist, that this in itself indicates a lack of balance in my body that can apparently be fixed by a combination of changes in my diet and lifestyle, regular acupuncture (which will be less regularly needed once my cycles balance out), and herbs. I will see her weekly until this happens, and after that we can spread it out more. It's expensive, but it's worth it to me. It's hard to imagine the luxury of a regular cycle as it's not one I've ever known, but I look forward to that.
4) Eating organic foods- I have tried this VERY half-heartedly in the past, and I always fail. It's so much easier to just go to Meijer and buy the cheapest foods available, especially when trying to stick to a budget. But I've read enough now to be convinced that the hormones, pesticides, chemicals, etc. in most of the foods we eat are not at all good for us, and that they can in fact throw our hormones off balance. This means that for the time being, I am only going to eat organic fruits and veggies and hormone-free, organic meats as well. I have explored all of the stores in the area and while the options aren't great, they are definitely sufficient. I'm really going to do this this time, at least until after I see a healthy baby in my arms. I do believe it's important. Food is medicine, according to TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), and I'm applying that theory to my life for now.
5) Going straight-edge- Ha, by this I mean I am not drinking any caffeine or alcohol. This really isn't a big deal, as I'd given up both during the pregnancy anyway. If it's good for your baby and your body during pregnancy, it makes sense that it's also a wise idea as you try to PREPARE your body for just that. TCM advocates steering clear of both types of substances, and I'm happy to do it. Still, I miss having a glass of red wine now and then. And tonight, as it's New Year's Eve, I will probably miss the glass of champagne. But, it's worth it. AND it's temporary. That helps.
6) Exercise- Or I should say, the lack there of. I have been a runner basically since junior high school, and I think it really is just a part of who I am. I LOVE it and never, ever dread doing it. It's a huge stress-reliever for me and has a way of making anything going on in my life feel more manageable. Well, I now realize that my running was not doing anything to help my fertility. I realize I was probably running too much, at least for a woman trying to conceive. It's hard for me to admit this, because like I said, this is a hobby that brings me so much pleasure; however, I am very willing to give it up for the time being, if it will help me prepare that better home in my womb. And to be truthful, I thought it would be harder to give up than it really has been. I didn't go into withdrawals, nor did I fall into a deep depression (or maybe I did, but it got mixed in with the miscarriage depression, which was far worse). Either way, I have taken a temporary but extended hiatus from the sport I love and I'm OK with it. I'm doing a combination of walking and yoga now instead, and that's enough for me to feel like I am still moving a bit. I'm also taking far more rest days than I ever did before. Did you ever hear that we really shouldn't exercise while menstruating? It's not good for our bodies (according to TCM anyway) and can actually throw things off balance. I'm not explaining this very well, but when I read it it really spoke to me as making a lot of sense. Our bodies are trying to clear out and start over at that time, and we should allow it to do just that without adding extra stress to it. Additionally, I'm going to go ahead and keep the extra weight I was blessed with (ha, at least it means I get some new pants) from the pregnancy, because I know having some extra fat is actually a GOOD thing when you're talking about fertility. I'm embracing this new softer, slower, relaxed me and I'm thanking God that I feel so good about myself in this new state.
Oh, there are plenty of other very weird things I am doing (Royal Jelly, anyone?), but this will probably suffice to convince you I have completely lost my mind in this quest to become a mother. Oh well. :) If it works and I end up with a healthy baby, I won't regret a moment of it. And if it doesn't work, well, at least I will be healthier for all the effort.
It's time for me to go enjoy some exciting, organic snacks and maybe some carrot juice to ring in the New Year. Cheers!
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