Apology

Soooo, yesterday was a bad day. A very bad day. I am not going to write a lot right now (or maybe I will), but I do want to say I'm sorry for yesterday's blog. When I first wrote it, I hadn't intended it to be so R-rated. language-wise. Then, when I started writing, the words and the ANGER just rolled on out and I couldn't (and didn't want to) stop it. I thought I'd just write it out for the release, then go back and delete the swear words before posting; however, in the end I decided to just go ahead and share what I was really feeling. I do feel bad for the fact that I know my moods can effect those that love me (sorry mom), and that my mood was so LETHAL yesterday that those who read this and care probably couldn't help but feel a little worse after reading that. Either that, or maybe you just thought I was a raging lunatic who had gone of the deep end. Either way, your reaction yesterday probably wasn't good. Sorry.

I apologize for the language used, although in truth I'm not TOO sorry because it was real and it was honest in the moment, and all I want is to share how I feel (poor Phil). I am realizing that I really want to talk about these things, but the people who ask and really want to listen are unfortunately far too few. And maybe it's not even fair for me to want people to offer me this. I mean, who really wants to have a very dark and depressing conversation with a hurting girl full of impossible questions? As it would turn out, not very many people. And for those who DO ask and DO listen, thank you!

Today is better than yesterday, and I wanted to write this blog to assure those reading that I am no longer spouting expletives with every other sentence. My anger has subsided, for now. I feel less panicked and anxious and more able to live in today. Today I am thankful for many things, struggling with a few things, and ready to move on into the future where anything could happen.

P.S. A friend shared this video with me today and it made me smile. Cats are always guaranteed to brighten my mood. :)